Why Russians Don't Smile
The real reason
Unsmiling Russians as a stereotype surrounding Russian culture is widespread. This stereotype has solid proof though: serious, sometimes even grim faces of locals is what many foreigners notice, coming to Russia. When asked what distinctive peculiarities of behaviour you notice in Russians, many, if not most, people of other cultures name seriousness and lack of "positive" facial expressions on the faces of Russians. This specific aspect of Russian "non-verbal language" seems especially striking for visitors from cultures where smiling is one of the social norms and expected from every individual in most circumstances. Inevitable question comes up—why in common life situations, Russians smile less compared to people of many other cultures?
Let's be fair, Russia is not the only culture where people show such "unsmiling behaviour". Those cultures may have their own reasons for smiling less. We will look into reasons that drive the "unsmiling" attitude of Russians.
Asking locals does not help. As with most humans on this planet, Russians are not very self-aware of their own culture, which is normal. Explaining the unsmiling attitude, Russians blame climate, hardships of life, history, religion, general norms, and a multitude of other factors. This is partially true. Many of those factors do influence people's behaviour. They work as forces, shaping Russian character over lengthy periods of time. Social aspects of life in the past hundreds of years of history with all its events had a profound effect on ways people behave. We could dig real deep, going centuries back in attempts to understand what made people behave so "seriously". However, the environment, all the events: political, historical, and social, are just predispositions for developing a specific non-smiling mindset. They answer the question of "how this behavior came to be", but do not explain what this behavior really is?
In decoding stereotypical behavior of any culture, we need to look into deeper mindsets or mind programs that run specific behavior. What is it then, what kind of hidden mindset formed through centuries drives the behavioral pattern of Russian people, which manifests as not smiley?
Sincerity and directness of expressing emotions is a mind program that makes Russians less smiling compared to people of other cultures.
Sincerity and directness of expressing emotions is a hidden mindset that has a huge effect on the ways people connect, interact socially, and in business. If you are a typical Russian, your cultural conditioning dictates you to express feelings and emotions directly, but their expression must be appropriate to the place, situation, and people involved.
Let's suppose you go to some official organization. Clerks working with customers are not very enthusiastic and happy to see you coming. What you witness on their faces is a range of facial expressions, from bland and devoid of emotions to grim and unhappy. When you look at that clerk, you see that she is a single mother, or maybe she is in a marriage, but her family life is not working well. She makes a little money on her job. She has back pain because she sits on that chair for long shifts. She does not like her job and her boss. Actually, I don't know her; I made up that background story so you'd get the idea. After all, her customers are just strangers, she does not know them personally, then why would she be nice to them? She is doing a very serious job and needs to concentrate to avoid mistakes. Serious and important jobs require seriousness. She's got no single reason to smile or be positive, and this is what you see her expressing non-verbally.
Similar attitudes you notice everywhere — in stores, offices, metro or just on a street, people passing you with not so positive emotions on their faces. The principle works: no obvious reason to smile — no smiling. When it comes to Russians expressing emotions, you will know how they feel right away, just by looking at their face.
With all the strangers, the Russian attitude is this: Who are these people? I don’t even know them, why would I be nice (smile) to them? Maybe they are trying to sell me something I don't need or make me do something with that smile? Maybe they are bad people and simply don't deserve a smile? Russians give no trust to people they don’t know and it shows on their faces.
What about being positive? Positivity is not a Russian thing. The Russian mindset goes like this: Why be positive when life sucks and I am genuinely unhappy or just have no solid reasons for fun at this very moment? Smiling when life is no fun is foolish.
Of course, each Russian has their own personality and outlook on life, and this shows off on their faces. That is to say, there are many genuinely positive people in Russia, and they do smile more than an average Russian person. The key word here is "genuinely”. What they feel on the inside shows on their face.
When you smile in a situation which Russians see as not appropriate for smiling, that might trigger a range of various mental responses. They might think you are being phony and become suspicious about you and your intentions. They might think that you smile to cover up something bad. Sometimes they think it's something funny about them, they are not aware of, so they get offended. One of the common reactions to an inappropriate smile is seeing the person who smiles as irrelevant or downright stupid, or something is wrong with them. In some circumstances, a smile may mean weakness. Tolerance to polite social smiles is very low in Russia, as people see those smiles as fake ("rubber") smiles. If you crack a polite smile just for the heck of it, Russians will know this in an instant — you are not for real.
Do Russians of a younger generation smile more because their culture differs from the culture of older generations? Not exactly. Younger Russians smile more because they are young and life is brighter for them, so their smile is genuine. Growing older turns them into a typical grumpy Russian of sorts, because being an adult (we know it, right?) in many ways is no fun.
Russian folklore supports this "smile-when-appropriate" mentality in proverbs. Below are some examples with rough translations.
Смех без причины — признак дурачины — Laughter without a reason is the evidence of a fool.
Не каждый смеется, кто зубы скалит — Not everyone is laughing who bares their teeth.
Веселого нрава не купишь — You can't buy a joyous temper.
Иной смех плачем отзывается — Some laughter echoes as a cry.
Сердце веселится, и лицо цветет — The heart is joyous, and the face is blooming.
Смехом сыт не будешь — Laughter won't feed you.
Do Russians smile at all? There are situations naturally appropriate for smiles, laughter, and all other positive expressions and attitudes. Those situations usually involve people in a close circle of friends, relatives, or acquaintances. Genuine smiles come when Russians feel sincerely happy about something or someone, be it an enjoyable event, or the atmosphere, or something they feel good about.
I am a very positive person, and it hurts me when I see people being deeply unhappy. When I am in a mood, I cheer up strangers, like store clerks and just random people I bump into. Many respond very well to my attempts at making interactions positive. Once I went into a pharmacy to buy chlorhexidine. The woman behind the counter had that typical bored-annoyed look on her face you see everywhere in Russian customer service. She glanced at me, not saying a word and expecting me to voice what I wanted. I knew what I wanted, but I played it like I did not remember the name of the medicine I came for. So I said: "I am looking for that thing, you know, a liquid, which name starts on “X” (Russian letter for “ch” in chlorhexidine), but it's not like that dirty “X” word". She bent behind the counter. She continued laughing so hard when she was checking me out, I was just happy to make her day brighter.
There are Russian proverbs, however, supporting laughter and smiles with no specific reason behind. But they do not seem to settle well in modern Russian culture.
Напасть боится улыбки — Trouble is afraid of a smile.
Кто умеет веселиться, того горе боится — Woe stays clear of those who can have fun.
Добрая шутка дружбы не рушит — A good joke won't ruin a friendship.
Веселье делу не помеха — The fun won't distract business.
Painting in the post is "Sunday Reading" by Nikolai Bogdanov-Belsky.